25 February 2011

When is a friend a real friend?

I'm back! Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged. These past few weeks I've been stuck at home resting, due to health reasons....which is hard to do when you have 2 year old wanting your attention. As I haven't been feeling well I haven't had the motivation or desire to write anything :-(

During this time I've been thinking of friendships and what is a good friend.

I have some friends, not a heap of friends, but a good few who I like to catch up with when time permits, and chat to on the phone or via email. As a Mum I find I don't get to see them that much anymore, but when I do I like to catch up with people I might have things in common with, can have a laugh with and generally have some fun.

Some friends are ones I met through work, some I've known many years, others are from becoming a Mum. But I'm finding it hard in knowing when someone is really your friend....you know the type, the one you can rely on when things are tough, who'll be there for you if you're having a meltdown and need a good cry. They are the ones that you might not have seen for 6 weeks, 6 months or a year, but when you do see them things kick back off from the last time you saw them.

I don't have a BFF as such, my best friend is my husband...and its been like that for a long time. Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out in not having a BFF to confide in. I used to have a childhood friend who I was close to growing up, but over the years we've lost touch and don't talk to each other anymore, which is quite sad.

I have some friends that say "We should catch up sometime", "Do you want to go to a movie"....and I think "Yeah sure, sounds great", but then don't get an invitation. Are they expecting me to be the ones to organise it? I don't mind organising catch ups, but I think it should be shared around...everyone's busy, regardless of whether you work full-time or a busy Mum like me.

Then I have a couple friends who can be a bit toxic, they mean well, but often say or do things that just p@#* me off, or there's friends you don't hear from, but they expect to hear from you.

Over these past few weeks I've wondered who are my 'real' friends, especially as I've been feeling so unwell. My hubby took our daughter to one of her friends birthday party on the weekend, apologising that I couldn't make it.....of course the Mums passed on their well wishes for me, but I never got much as a phone call or email to see how I was doing? I know it's hard when you are a Mum as you get caught up doing things, but I can't help but wonder if for some reason I'm not important enough or someone they think of as a friend?

Do you have a BFF or close friend that you confide in? How often do you catch-up with your friends?

03 February 2011

I'll never be a cleaning Supermum

I'm not a cleaning supermum, and will not even pretend to be one. I wonder why there are so many women who are obsessed in trying to do everything at once or in a day?

Why can't they learn to smell the roses and take it easy. I'd rather spend time with my daughter playing or watching her play, then stress about the cleaning. It will be there tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. My daughter's youth will not be. I understand the importance of having a clean house, clean clothes, food on the table etc etc. But there are some women who want everything to be just perfect, and want it done all at once. I don't know how some women do it. They either have great support from their spouses, family or friends (not to mention a babysitter), or are just completely trashed by the end of all the cleaning that they need a lie down when their child has one.

Then there's the women who always have to brag about how much time they have spent cleaning their house, or how many loads of washing they have done or the time its taken them to mop the floors....I'm not sure if they are looking for a pat on the back or just want to brag how wonderful they are? Maybe they don't get the sort of recognition they are after from their husband/partner/boyfriend etc. My reply tends to be "When you're finished yours, can you come and do mine"? ;-)
Sure I like to keep my house looking clean, but tidy, forget it! My 2 year old leaves her toys all over the lounge room floor, not to mention in the kitchen, hallway, our bedroom and dining room, so I've come to the sad realisation that it will never be tidy again....well not for a long while. When she was little I would spend time putting things away, but now when I do manage to put her toys away, she has some sort of 'six sense' and gets back up to pull them all out again! Arrgghh!!

I don't mind toys being spread over the floor, provided there's no tripping hazards, but I never want to be the type of person who has to have a spotless and prestine house that looks like a museum where there's no evidence of life in the house, not even a photo on the wall. To me that's just sad. We have photo's of our daughter, amongst other family members on the walls, and in frames on the bookcase or other cabinets. We have my little artist's latest paintings hanging from the fridge and dining room window (a couple of pegs and a piece of string....voila, instant artwork). I think this makes your house feel more like a home....sure I could get rid of the mountain of "Notebook" magazines that are sitting in the corner of the lounge room, which I don't read anymore but don't want to get rid of....it was such a great magazine after all.  :-)

I guess I don't like to stress about cleaning. I definately don't want to be one of these woman who likes to see track marks on the carpet from the amount of times she has vaccummed the floor, or see their reflection in the benchtops. I ensure that the floor is mopped and the rugs are vaccummed, but it's not something I do every day. If there's been a spillage on the benchtop or floor I will clean it up...but I'm not going to get the mop out each time my little one wants to crawl around or play on the floor. I'm not going to stress if on a particular day I've spent more time playing with my child or taking her out to see some of her friends, then doing the housework. Life is too short and should be enjoyed. Unfortunately cleaning isn't something I enjoy.

I'm very fortunate to have a wonderful hubby who helps me (most of the time). He'll help tidy up the house (especially when we have visitors coming over....any junk is normally hidden behind closed doors), washes the clothes and hangs them on the line, cooks dinner (he once told me it's something he enjoys (even though that was a looong time ago)....so don't want to stop him now :-)), occassionally he remembers to pack the dishwasher and turns it on (mostly only packs), and will unpack it when finished, folds clothes and puts them away, as well as the other chores such as mowing and taking out the trash. I know I am very lucky. I know quite a few woman who don't have husbands who help out, or are very critical when the house hasn't been tidied or cleaned. Which means she then spends hours, after bathing and putting the kids to bed, to ensure the house is sparkling clean & tidy before hubby wakes in the morning.....hmmmmm......I don't think that's fair.

My hubby will sometimes joke "What have you done all day", but deep down he knows how hard it is to look after a little one. He knows that the housework isn't as important as spending quality time with my daughter. Yesterday I gave the kitchen a quick clean up while Missy watched "The Wiggles Australia Day concert". Hubby commented on how nice it was when he got home. It was nice that he noticed, but some days he needs to be told of what's been done (especially when you do something, and have to do it again and again, because you're little helper undoes what you've just done....e.g. fold all her clothes, she unfolds them and plays with them!!)

At the end of the day as long as we're happy and healthy, that's all that counts.

02 February 2011

Feeling uninspired

Today I'm feeling uninspired. Well it's not just today, it's been a lot lately.

Most days I'm finding my quiet time spent in front of this computer, while Popette is having her afternoon nap, playing games on Facebook or looking up sites.

I'm sure there's something else that I could be doing....like reading a book or magazine, doing a crossword puzzle, doing the dishes, washing (yawn!), cleaning up (ugh!!)

Hmmm.....no, I'm not motivated to do any of that. I don't even feel like doing something creative, which I normally like doing. I just feel like sitting on the couch, and being a couch potato. Then again I don't really feel like doing that. I'm even bored with going on the computer and Facebook....I'm sitting at the computer now writing this blog just to give me something to do!

Hmmm....I don't know what it is. I think I need something to inspire me or make me feel motivated to do something.

Do you ever have moments when you feel like that? What is it that motives or inspires you?