25 February 2011

When is a friend a real friend?

I'm back! Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged. These past few weeks I've been stuck at home resting, due to health reasons....which is hard to do when you have 2 year old wanting your attention. As I haven't been feeling well I haven't had the motivation or desire to write anything :-(

During this time I've been thinking of friendships and what is a good friend.

I have some friends, not a heap of friends, but a good few who I like to catch up with when time permits, and chat to on the phone or via email. As a Mum I find I don't get to see them that much anymore, but when I do I like to catch up with people I might have things in common with, can have a laugh with and generally have some fun.

Some friends are ones I met through work, some I've known many years, others are from becoming a Mum. But I'm finding it hard in knowing when someone is really your friend....you know the type, the one you can rely on when things are tough, who'll be there for you if you're having a meltdown and need a good cry. They are the ones that you might not have seen for 6 weeks, 6 months or a year, but when you do see them things kick back off from the last time you saw them.

I don't have a BFF as such, my best friend is my husband...and its been like that for a long time. Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out in not having a BFF to confide in. I used to have a childhood friend who I was close to growing up, but over the years we've lost touch and don't talk to each other anymore, which is quite sad.

I have some friends that say "We should catch up sometime", "Do you want to go to a movie"....and I think "Yeah sure, sounds great", but then don't get an invitation. Are they expecting me to be the ones to organise it? I don't mind organising catch ups, but I think it should be shared around...everyone's busy, regardless of whether you work full-time or a busy Mum like me.

Then I have a couple friends who can be a bit toxic, they mean well, but often say or do things that just p@#* me off, or there's friends you don't hear from, but they expect to hear from you.

Over these past few weeks I've wondered who are my 'real' friends, especially as I've been feeling so unwell. My hubby took our daughter to one of her friends birthday party on the weekend, apologising that I couldn't make it.....of course the Mums passed on their well wishes for me, but I never got much as a phone call or email to see how I was doing? I know it's hard when you are a Mum as you get caught up doing things, but I can't help but wonder if for some reason I'm not important enough or someone they think of as a friend?

Do you have a BFF or close friend that you confide in? How often do you catch-up with your friends?

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