Oh, your just a Mum...

"Oh, your just a Mum"...

 

How many times have you heard that expression? Not in a nice, positive way, but in that sarcastic, "Oh you don't work, you just play Barbie all day" tone from so-called friends and aquaintances. This post is me just having a bit of a rant.

One of my "Friends" on Facebook recently published this as her status update...

"hate when you get the "Oh your just a mum" or "do you work?" Uhhh yes, I am a mum!! That makes me an ALARM CLOCK, COOK, MAID, WAITRESS, TEACHER, NURSE, HANDYMAN, SECURITY OFFICER, PHOTOGRAPHER, COUNSELOR, CHAUFFER, EVENT PLANNER, PERSONAL ASSISTANT, ATM, GHOST BUSTER, BAIL BONDSMAN, SOLICITOR, MEDIATOR, CONFIDANTE and REFEREE. I don't get holidays, sick pay or RDOs. I work through the DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. And that's just my first job......JUST A MUM!!! I may not be anything to you, but I am everything to someone.

 

Re-post if you are a PROUD MUM ♥ and if you don't think it's a job, try it for a week as well as work 35 hours a week at a paid job!!!"

 

I had to "Like" the list, although I'm not a full-time working Mum like my friend, it does annoy me when people think that just because you're a Mum (a) you must not be busy, (b) they think you have lots of time to sit around and drink coffee while checking Facebook, or (c) have truckloads of time to email friends and arrange the latest catch-up. One of my pet peeves is when you suggest a catch-up to friends, and they leave to you to arrange, because 'they' (friends or relatives who don't have children) are too busy with their careers, and having a social life, etc etc.

 

Sometimes Hubby thinks that its only him that works -- well yes, he does work a full-time job and get paid, but I work too, as a full-time Mother, unfortunately I'm only paid what the Family Assistance Office sends me!

 

I love my Hubby to bits, but sometimes he really pisses me off when he thinks that he is the only person who is tired and hasn't had a decent nights sleep. He has been doing the night feeds for the past few weeks, which I am really grateful for. But some nights I stay up with him, and don't go to bed until he does. Last night he stayed up late because he was feeding "Cherub", when I went to bed it was 11.10pm. He mentioned that he didn't get to bed late because she was unsettled.

   

This morning at 5.00am, "Cherub" was moaning for her bottle. I could hardly keep my eyes open as I had only drifted back to sleep after being up twice with her at 3.00am and 3.20am...it takes me a while before I can get back to sleep.

 

I finally dragged myself out of bed at 5.30am to get her bottle ready and started feeding her at 5.45am on the lounge. Hubby then got up at 6am, so he could get ready for work. As he doesn't have to start at a specific time, I asked him if he could take over the feed so I could go back to bed before "Popette" woke up...which he then got cranky about. He took over feeding bub so I could get my 'beauty sleep' as he called it, but I argued that it was so I could function properly.

 

He thinks he's the only one that needs to function properly because he has to get up in the morning and go to work, but guess what, I need to function properly too, so I can look after our children and make sure they are fed, taken care of properly and not put in harms way if we go out.

 

Hubby constantly complains about the lawn needing to be mowed....I don't know what it is with men moaning about mowing their lawns! He thinks its more important to have the lawn looking good, then keeping the house clean & tidy if someone comes over!? He also thinks that washing bub's bottles and feeding her comes under "Housework", I think not. I sometimes wonder how well he would cope if the tables were turned, and I was the full-time worker and he was a stay-at-home Dad.

Below is a list of some of the duties I do as a Mum, there's probably more that I haven't thought of...

• Breastfeed (back when I was breastfeeding, have since stopped which I regret, but that's another story)
• Express breastmilk
• Wash baby's bottles (which happens 2-3 times a day)
• Sterilise baby's bottles
• Change nappies on both "Cherub" and "Popette"; unless Toilet training "Popette".
• Feed "Cherub", "Popette" and myself
• Sometimes bath "Cherub" & "Popette" (Usually Hubby looks after bathing the girls so he can spend some time with them)
• Dress "Popette" and "Cherub"
• Shower and dress myself
• Pack & unpack dishwasher
• Put on a load of washing and hang out,
• Fold up clean clothes etc and put away (including "Cherub's", "Popette's" and my clothes - I refuse to put away Hubby's clothes he can do his own)
• Wash dishes that can't go in dishwasher and put away
• Sweep floorboards
• Mop floorboards
• Vaccum rugs
• Clean bathroom, kitchen, dining room etc
• Pack up "Popette's" toys and put away
• Entertain "Popette" and "Cherub"
• Take "Popette" on playdates, to Music, appointments and the shops etc.
• Put "Cherub" and "Popette" down for a sleep
• Run in to "Cherub" whenever she cries and soothe/settle, re-wrap or stick dummy into mouth
• Play or do activity (ie. painting, play doh, craft) with "Popette"
• Tidy "Popette's" room

Now I can't take all the credit for doing everything on this list, hubby does do some of these items, but he doesn't do them all the time, everyday. I do.

Besides looking after the lawns, he does the clothes washing (I am a very lucky woman, I know), looks after the rubbish and recycling bins, does the dishes on occassions (mostly just leaves his dirty dishes on the sink waiting for me to place them in the dishwasher, which he occassionally loads & unloads) and does most of the cooking.

I guess you are now wondering what I am whinging about! I know I shouldn't complain, he is a good husband and does a lot for me, it just annoys me that he doesn't acknowledge the amount of stuff I do besides looking after "Cherub" & "Popette" each and every day. He somtimes complains that he is tired and had a long day at work, but I too am tired and have had a long day with two trying little people. One of them is totally reliant on me, and the other one is going through a trying time and still doesn't know how to express herself properly. Not to mention going through the terrible-two's and a clingy stage because of a new baby in the house.

Tonight he is off on a work Christmas party, he's not sure what time he'll be home. I guess I'll be having a long night with "Cherub" and "Popette". "Popette" had a meltdown this afternoon after having a long playdate with a friend, so not sure how she'll behave tonight with Daddy being out or whether I'll get her in bed at all. I'm hoping she'll go to bed quietly.

Thanks for letting me have this rant!

 

On the twelfth day of Christmas...

Can you believe there's only 4 weeks to go until its Christmas. Isn't that crazy! I can't believe it's just around the corner. I'm not feeling at all festive as yet. Usually around this time I'm getting excited about buying our tree. Ever since Hubby & I moved in together, many years ago, we've bought a real Christmas tree from a Christmas tree farm, and decorated it together watching Christmas movies. I just love the smell of the fresh pine needles. ;-)

Today Hubby & I got some Christmas shopping done with "Cherub" in tow, while her big sis "Popette" was in daycare. I am cherishing Thursdays now. I still miss "Popette" at times, but it is nice to have the day to myself (kind of) and have some peace & quiet, and relax for a while before "Popette" is back home again.

To try and get into the festive mood, I thought it might be fun to say what you would like your "true love" to give to you on the 12 days of Christmas, I'll begin...


On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...a framed photo of my beautiful family.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me...keys to a fully furnished apartment in gay ole' Paris (must say “Paris” with French accent so rhymes with song!).

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me...a box of shiny new decorations for our Christmas tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...seven nights in gorgeous Italy.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...a new shiny ring.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...a relaxing couples massage with my hubby.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me...a romantic candlelit dinner for two by the sea.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...a day trip to the Zoo with my family.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...a quiet weekend away for just me and my hubby.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...a cleaner for a month to help poor old me! ;-)

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me...a beautiful catered lunch for all of my relatives and family.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...a happy & content family.

Hmmm...while these are all nice things (and most are just wishes). I would be happy to receive the bottom one, a happy & content family, where we have a day with no screaming toddler tantrums, and just have lots of fun.

What would you like your 'true love' to give you this Christmas?

My Dad and the big C

Just recently my husband and I found out that my Dad has cancer. All my family knew except for us, as my Mum thought she was doing the right thing, and didn't say anything to us until after I had "Cherub". While I was pregnant Dad was admitted into hospital. We were told that he had polyps, and had to have an operation to have them removed. What we weren't told was that they were malignant.

Mum didn't want to tell me while I was pregnant in case my blood pressure acted up (which it already was) and went in to labour and had another premmie baby. So a few weeks after we got home from hospital with "Cherub", my parents dropped the news on us. It was a bit of a shock to say the least. I had wondered if it was cancer, and worried a lot about my Dad while he was in hospital. Mainly because of his age, he is 84, and because of his health problems. He had been in hospital a few months prior with a bad stomach virus which took some time for him to get over.

My parents were told that the Drs got all the cancer and that he was in the all clear, but just last week he had a follow-up appointment with his specialist and was told that there cancer was still there. Its so sad, I don't know what to say to Dad, or how to feel, apart from very sad.

I know that there will be a day when Dad won't be around, but I'm not ready for that yet. I want him to be here for Mum, for me, for my brothers and mainly my children..is that being selfish? I want him to see his grandchildren run, play, get excited when Nanna & Poppy come over to visit, see his granddaughters give him lots of cuddles and tell him that they love him. I want to get to know my Dad better as well. I love my Dad and feel as though I've never really gotten to know him.

My Mum and Dad are fifteen years apart, and were quite old (well Dad was) when I was born nearly 39 years ago. Mum was 30 and Dad was 45, and I was the third of 3 children.

For quite some time Dad has had health issues. He's not as sprightly as he used to be, and tires easily. Before hubby and I had children we would often have my parents over for lunch or dinner, and afterwards play a game of cards or a boardgame. My Dad & I would sometimes gang up on my Mum and Hubby in a game of Canasta, although we didn't always win. Other times Dad would reminisce about his youth and would tell us stories of things he got up to with his brother and sister. I used to enjoy that time together.

Dad has never been the clingy type of Father, and telling you that he loved you. However, Mum, Dad & I always liked a good hug. ;-) I know he loves me and my brothers, even if he seems a bit of a grump and is set in his ways.

Sometimes it's hard having a conversation with Dad, especially as he has hearing problems and tinnitus, but other than that its knowing what to talk about. I guess the thing we talk about lately, is his two granddaughters who he adores.

He loves spending time with his grandchildren, even if it is only for a small amount of time as he can't stand too much noise. I think seeing his family makes him happiest. Unfortunately my brothers don't see a lot of my parents, so they miss out on seeing their grandchildren for sometimes months at a time.

It maddens me that my brothers don't think of my parents.

As Christmas is coming upon us, it means we'll be having another get together before Christmas due to us all having different plans on the day. I don't know why we can't get together as a family on Christmas day. My eldest brother always catches up with his wife's family on Christmas day, which annoys me. Sadly, there will be a day when Dad won't be around and they won't have the chance to see him at Christmas.

There will be days like this...

Today has been one of those days! "Popette" has been eating us out of house & home. With what seems like 5 minute intervals of "Mummy I'm hungry", I feed her with what I think is a lot of food, then I get another "Mummy I'm hungry" two minutes later.

Our lounge room looks like a warzone...ok I'm telling a little white lie here, my whole house looks like a warzone at the moment. Besides "Popette's" room, the lounge room has toys thrown, dropped, kicked and tossed across it. My lovely hubby doesn't think it looks any worse than yesterday (not sure if that was a compliment?), but I tell him that "Popette" has been tripping over her toys, so it must be bad.

I feel like I'm forever picking up toys or cleaning up the mess. Lately I just don't seem to have the energy or time to clean up the whole house. I try and keep this house tidy, but half the time it doesn't look as if I’ve done anything!

"Popette" is not only going through the "terrible-twos-I'm-nearly-three" stage, but a "No" or a "I can't" stage as well. Lately we've been getting told "I can't need it". Which might be a reply to "Why don't you finish your lunch?", or when I tell her its time to have a lay down and rest, "No, I can't lay down"...of course I say "Oh yes, you can". At least she is sleeping in her 'big girls bed' :)

She is also being toilet trained properly (meaning: wearing undies during the day). My wonderful hubby thought it would be a great idea to get her wearing underpants while he was off work (he has since gone back to work!). Of course, I didn't think it was the greatest time to be toilet training her after bringing her baby sister home from hospital!

We started toilet training her back in April, but she had regressed. For the past few months or so we had her in nappy pants and pull-ups, but she never got to the point of telling us that she had to go to the toilet, so hubby insisted we try her in undies. It would be easier if I didn't have a newborn to look after. She's doing okay, but doesn't always tell us when she needs to go to the toilet so has an accident.

The past few mornings "Cherub" has been drifting in and out of sleep after a feed. She keeps loosing her dummy and cries out, so I've been running in and out of our room to her. If it's not her crying and waking up "Popette", it's "Popette" screaming or yelling out and waking up "Cherub". Thankfully "Cherub's" having longer feeds at night now, so we’re getting a little bit more sleep. I can’t believe how tiring it is with two though. Some days I feel so knackered by the end of the day. I’m grateful that I don’t have to go to work the next day, I don’t know how people cope. I’d be falling asleep at the desk!

I guess what has been lovely is the fun I've been having with "Popette". We played musical instruments this morning, and sang some songs that we either learned from music class or "Play School" which was fun. She also has been enjoying 'craft time' with Mummy (which she calls 'crafting') and enjoys making 'something special'. Most of the time it is usually Mummy making the craft and "Popette" playing with it. Yesterday I made her a fishing rod out of pipe cleaners, and some fish out of cardboard...it kept her entertained for a little while.

I'm also getting beautiful smiles and coos from my baby girl, which is just gorgeous. I can't believe "Cherub" is 8 weeks old today, and we'll be celebrating her 1st Christmas soon. The whole pregnancy and "Cherub" now growing up, is going by way too quickly for me. 

Celebrating 15 years

Today it's my 15th wedding anniversary!!! I can't believe how quickly these past few years have gone for us both. One minute we're a married couple, the next we are a family of 4!

My hubby and I met while he was working at a bank. I was 18 and he was 17..although I thought at the time he was at least 19...must have been the long hair!! I remember checking him out while I waited for some legal documents for work, thinking to myself that he wasn't bad, and was cute. Once I received the documents I waited by the lift, and the next thing I hear is a guy saying "Excuse me, would you like to go out for lunch with me?" I turned around and there he was! I was stunned and a little nervous, as I wasn't used to being asked out. The first thing I said was "What's your name?". After a quick chat in the lift, I agreed to go out for lunch with him, and as they say the rest is history! ;-)

I feel so very lucky to have found such a wonderful husband, who is so caring, and loving. We have been through some tough times over the past few years, but also have had some wonderful moments together, and hopefully will have more to come with our two gorgeous girls.

He's been such a wonderful help over the past 7 weeks with both girls, and also the past year with my pregnancy which was quite stressful.

It's been a couple years since we've managed to go out for dinner on our own, so on Saturday night we have my sister-in-law babysitting the girls, "Popette" (nearly 3) and "Cherub" (7 wks). It's been so long since we've had a meal on our own, it'll feel strange not having the girls with us. I hope we can enjoy it without worrying too much.

Tonight I'm hoping to get "Popette" fed early and into bed (fingers crossed!!) then cooking hubby dinner...some Pork Cutlets with a mustard sauce...hopefully it'll taste as good as it looks in the recipe book. ;-)

Trying times...

A quick word from the blogger...

Hi there,

Just thought I'd let you know that I'm having issues with responding to comments on my blog. For some reason Blogger isn't letting me sign in as myself when commenting, this includes commenting on other people's blogs! Very annoying. So if you have commented on one of my blogs and I haven't replied please don't think I'm ignoring you ;-)

Now back to the blog...

As you know I recently had my second child, "Cherub", now 6 weeks old, and have a 34 month old toddler, "Popette", who turns 3 in January.

Lately, I'm finding it hard to spend quality time with "Cherub" when she is awake, which isn't that much at the moment as she tends to sleep a lot. (Or could it be that I've forgotten all about the baby stage and how long she should be up and asleep during the day. :-))

I try and get "Cherub" up before her feed and spend a bit of time playing with her on the floor (ie. tummy time) or talking to her, but "Popette" likes to join in and sometimes takes over.

With all the difficulties I've been experiencing with "Popette", I'm weary of giving too much attention to "Cherub" as I don't want to make her jealous. I've already experienced a couple of occassions where I've been holding "Cherub" and asked "Popette" to do something, and she's lashed out at me.

Don't get me wrong, she loves her baby sister very much, and constantly gives her kisses and cuddles. And if "Cherub" loses her dummy "Popette" will get it for her, as long as it hasn't fallen on the floor.

"Popette" goes to daycare 1 day a week, so I have that day with "Cherub", but any other time is hard as I have her at home with me and "Cherub".

What doesn't help is the time it takes to feed "Cherub". I've been struggling with breastfeeding since leaving the hospital. I've been having issues with a low milk supply, and after finishing a 5 week course of Motilium I've been finding it isn't fulfilling's "Cherub's" appetite. I am constantly giving her top-ups of formula, or just giving her formula without breastfeeding, which I also had to do with "Popette".

This means feeding "Cherub" can take a long time. By the time I put her down for a sleep, it is only an hour or so until its time to get her up and do it all over again. This is hard with "Popette" as I'm not having as much time to play with her, or get any of the housework done. When I do get a chance to have a little break, it's usually spent on the computer!

My hubby and I have tried to involve "Popette" with "Cherub", ie. being Mummy & Daddy's helper when changing "Cherub's" nappy, and when bathing her.

Any suggestions on what else I can do?

Off in the land of nod...Wordless Thursday

My sweet little princess fast asleep..I just had to sneak a kiss and take this photo :-)

Sweet sweet girl...sound asleep