23 November 2011

My Dad and the big C

Just recently my husband and I found out that my Dad has cancer. All my family knew except for us, as my Mum thought she was doing the right thing, and didn't say anything to us until after I had "Cherub". While I was pregnant Dad was admitted into hospital. We were told that he had polyps, and had to have an operation to have them removed. What we weren't told was that they were malignant.

Mum didn't want to tell me while I was pregnant in case my blood pressure acted up (which it already was) and went in to labour and had another premmie baby. So a few weeks after we got home from hospital with "Cherub", my parents dropped the news on us. It was a bit of a shock to say the least. I had wondered if it was cancer, and worried a lot about my Dad while he was in hospital. Mainly because of his age, he is 84, and because of his health problems. He had been in hospital a few months prior with a bad stomach virus which took some time for him to get over.

My parents were told that the Drs got all the cancer and that he was in the all clear, but just last week he had a follow-up appointment with his specialist and was told that there cancer was still there. Its so sad, I don't know what to say to Dad, or how to feel, apart from very sad.

I know that there will be a day when Dad won't be around, but I'm not ready for that yet. I want him to be here for Mum, for me, for my brothers and mainly my children..is that being selfish? I want him to see his grandchildren run, play, get excited when Nanna & Poppy come over to visit, see his granddaughters give him lots of cuddles and tell him that they love him. I want to get to know my Dad better as well. I love my Dad and feel as though I've never really gotten to know him.

My Mum and Dad are fifteen years apart, and were quite old (well Dad was) when I was born nearly 39 years ago. Mum was 30 and Dad was 45, and I was the third of 3 children.

For quite some time Dad has had health issues. He's not as sprightly as he used to be, and tires easily. Before hubby and I had children we would often have my parents over for lunch or dinner, and afterwards play a game of cards or a boardgame. My Dad & I would sometimes gang up on my Mum and Hubby in a game of Canasta, although we didn't always win. Other times Dad would reminisce about his youth and would tell us stories of things he got up to with his brother and sister. I used to enjoy that time together.

Dad has never been the clingy type of Father, and telling you that he loved you. However, Mum, Dad & I always liked a good hug. ;-) I know he loves me and my brothers, even if he seems a bit of a grump and is set in his ways.

Sometimes it's hard having a conversation with Dad, especially as he has hearing problems and tinnitus, but other than that its knowing what to talk about. I guess the thing we talk about lately, is his two granddaughters who he adores.

He loves spending time with his grandchildren, even if it is only for a small amount of time as he can't stand too much noise. I think seeing his family makes him happiest. Unfortunately my brothers don't see a lot of my parents, so they miss out on seeing their grandchildren for sometimes months at a time.

It maddens me that my brothers don't think of my parents.

As Christmas is coming upon us, it means we'll be having another get together before Christmas due to us all having different plans on the day. I don't know why we can't get together as a family on Christmas day. My eldest brother always catches up with his wife's family on Christmas day, which annoys me. Sadly, there will be a day when Dad won't be around and they won't have the chance to see him at Christmas.


  1. Thanks Alvaro, my Dad got over his stomach virus, but now has bladder cancer. Hopefully the Drs can do something to control it for him.


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