A part of me missing

Yesterday I had a belated Birthday BBQ bash for my 40th birthday which I celebrated in December. It was so lovely catching up with my friends and relatives, but it was missing something important, my family.

Dad, Mum and I on my 39th birthday

While I had my Husband and two sweet girls there, it was my parents and two brothers who weren't. It felt quite strange not having Mum there in particular. It just didn't feel the same celebrating the day of my birth, without her being there to enjoy it with me. I know she didn't feel up to facing many of the relatives she had last seen at my Dad's funeral, but it was like a part of me was missing.

Of course I missed my Dad, I thought of him often during the lead up to the BBQ, but it was Mum not being there which made me feel like I've lost a little bit of her when Dad died.

As you may already know, my Dad passed away in December from bladder cancer. These past couple of months have been extremely painful for Mum. She has been sorting out Dad's belongings, and getting through all the paperwork that happens when someone dies, but it has taken its toll on her.

I miss Dad dearly, but also miss Mum being happy, and seeing them together.

Last year my two brothers and their families moved. One inner-state, the other to the mid-coast of NSW, so unfortunately they couldn't join us for the BBQ. We haven't been all that close lately, but it still would have been nice to see them and their families.

While I had the love and friendship of my relatives and friends there yesterday, it just wasn't the same celebrating my birthday without my immediate family being with me.

Do you celebrate birthdays with your family and relatives, or have a small get together with just the immediate family?