04 April 2013

Breaking out of my comfort zone

For the past couple weeks I have been trying something different.

Last week I took the girls to a local playgroup. It's the first time I've taken both girls to one. A couple years ago I took "Popette" to a couple of different playgroups just to check them out, but I didn't find one that I liked or felt right.

So last week I thought I'd try a local playgroup a friend of mine had invited me to join. She had asked me sometime ago (like when the girls were much younger), but for some reason or another it just wasn't the right time. "Cherub" was either having a nap at the time it was on, I wasn't coping at taking two kids out or we had another play date with someone else.

The shy(ish) introvert that I am would rather hang out at home (when I'm not cleaning that is) with the girls or take them down to the shops, rather then go somewhere new and meet new people. I guess I've become a bit of a hermit since "Cherub" was born, and have found myself making excuses why I shouldn't go somewhere so I can stay home.

When I arrived at the playgroup, I was thankful that there were a few faces I recognised from various social gatherings my friend had organised, so it wasn't too scary for me.

"Popette" who has been terribly clingy since her Poppy passed away, enjoyed colouring-in at playgroup, but didn't play with any of the other kids. I'm hoping she'll get back to her happy little self, and start to enjoy playing with kids again soon.

Ever since my Dad died before Christmas, she's regressed to a clingy, needy, whingy toddler who wants me to do things with her or be with her. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with her, but when I think back to when she was 3. She used to be so independent for a 3 year old. She loved playing with her friends, loved going to daycare and music class. Would have no worries with interacting with kids she didn't know, and would run off with her friends to play.

For the past few months she's been having huge anxiety attacks when my husband & I drop her off to daycare. It's so hard watching her upset herself, and at times nearly vomit, because she's afraid we won't be there to pick her up or because we are leaving her.

She's supposed to start "big school" next year, but the Educators from the daycare think she won't be 'socially ready' for "big school". If you had asked me last year if I thought she'd be ready for school next year, I would have said "YES".

She is such a sweet natured girl and often tells me "Mamma, I love you so much." She has a big heart and often worries a bit too much (probably gets that from me), especially when someone she cares about is sick or not feeling well for someone so young.

My big girl

I'm hoping by getting out of my comfort zone, and taking "Popette" and "Cherub" to some playgroups, and other social gatherings with friends will help her bounce back to her fun loving self.

I'm so afraid she's going to become a sad little introvert and not want to play with anyone. I hope I'm doing the right thing. I've been wondering if I should change her to a preschool, or keep her at the daycare because it's familiar and she knows the Educators. Still undecided about that. It's so hard to know what the right thing to do is. I guess that's one of the toughest jobs about being a parent, making the tough decisions and hoping that the ones you make are the right ones.

When was the last time you were out of your comfort zone?


  1. Big hugs, I hope she finds some peace soon and am sure time and reassurance will help her. Good on you for going to the playgroup. You know I am going out of my on fort zone right now planning our first webinar. It can be so uncomfortable trying new things, but I keep pushing past the fears. Xxx

    1. Thanks Deb, it's been a hard year on her, I really hope she bounces back soon. xx

  2. Poor little thing. We are going through same decision with our almost 4 yo as well - stay in daycare where everyone is familiar, but where she is less happy now her big sister isn't there, or try a preschool and see if the extra stimulation helps. In our case, her daycare is pretty good at doing activities so we are leaning towards leaving her there. But you are so right, it is one of those tough parenting decisions. I hope you work it out and your little one picks up soon.

    1. Thank you, I hope it works out for your little one too :)

  3. This is so great of you Julie - stepping out of our comfort zones is so hard but ultimately rewarding. It's so hard to explain emotional upsets like losing someone to our little ones - especially when it's hard to comprehend ourselves!! Sometimes you can get story books that explain it in a kids way - maybe that could help? You're such a beautiful and creative mother xx

    1. Aww thanks Elisa, it's so hard to know what the best thing is for her. I'll have to check out the library and see if they have a storybook which might make it easier to talk to her about Poppy. Thanks lovely xx

  4. Oh goodness lovely. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your dad, it is so heartbreaking and hard to come to terms with. I lost my dad three years ago October last year. I was pregnant at the time. Dealing with that kind of loss is oh so hard. Helping your child deal with it is even harder. Lots of cuddles, talking and tears. Give yourselves plenty of time to grieve and acknowledge your loss and remember all the wonderful times. x
    Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you all.

  5. Sorry to read about your dad, so hard for you and for your two precious angels.

    I too really must make the effort re playgroup, your not alone there, I was so vigilent with number 1 but as a working single mum now poor number 2 doesn't go as often as she should, I must admit I haven't found one that I clicked with yet either which is also probably why too, thanks for the reminder.
    Take care XXX

    1. Thanks Rebecca. I hope you find a playgroup you click with soon x

  6. Hi Julie,
    Thanks for visiting our blog.
    I love my comfort zone but you're right sometimes we need to step out a bit.
    My son is doing another year of preschool at the moment and i feel so much more confident now that he'll be fine next year. Listen to the suggestions but you know your baby best.
    I agree though maybe she needs some books designed for littlies to help her work through it all?
    I hope she springs back very very soon
    x bel

  7. Thanks Bel, I hope she springs back soon too! She had a better morning today, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that its just round the corner! x


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