I seem to have a short fuse lately, and snap at things quite easily. I'm worried that I've been suffering some sort of depression, which wouldn't surprise me considering what I've been through the past 12 months. There are days when I'm feeling down because I'm missing my Dad or feel as though I can't cope. I hate for the girls to see me like this.
I have literally lost my patience with "Popette" who has become so defiant, and says no to just about everything. Then there's the screaming, yelling, hitting and disobeying everything we ask her to do. I'm not sure if it's a case of the "terrible 4's" or whether she's picked up on my mood and attitude, and acting out.
I love my girls so much. I don't want to be this person. It's not me.
I want to hear my girls giggle, see them smile and hear them laugh out loud, not cry, yell or scream.
For a while now I've been thinking that I need to find what makes me happy not just as a Mummy but me as a person, and bring that back into my life.
I miss being creative, and doing something that's just for me. After I had "Popette" I was attending an evening art class once a week, which I enjoyed. Then I got pregnant with "Cherub" and haven't returned as my head hadn't been in a great place and I couldn't get into being creative.
I love having fun with the girls, but lately it has been a real struggle for me to get on top of the housework, it never seems to go away, which has resulted in less time to have fun with the girls. Even doing craft with "Popette" and blogging has become a bit of a chore, instead of something fun.
Writing for me was a creative release, an outlet for me to express my thoughts or experiences as a Mummy with other Mummies and readers. I want blogging to be something I enjoy and for it to flow easily, and be something that you enjoy to read.
So with this in mind I've decided to take a little break from the blog and go in search of what makes me happy. I am hoping not to be away for too long, and come back feeling refreshed with some stories of the girls, and fun craft activities.
What makes you happy?