23 May 2013

Searching for happiness

I seem to have a short fuse lately, and snap at things quite easily. I'm worried that I've been suffering some sort of depression, which wouldn't surprise me considering what I've been through the past 12 months. There are days when I'm feeling down because I'm missing my Dad or feel as though I can't cope. I hate for the girls to see me like this.

I have literally lost my patience with "Popette" who has become so defiant, and says no to just about everything. Then there's the screaming, yelling, hitting and disobeying everything we ask her to do. I'm not sure if it's a case of the "terrible 4's" or whether she's picked up on my mood and attitude, and acting out.

I love my girls so much. I don't want to be this person. It's not me.

I want to hear my girls giggle, see them smile and hear them laugh out loud, not cry, yell or scream.

Source: etsy.com via LT on Pinterest

For a while now I've been thinking that I need to find what makes me happy not just as a Mummy but me as a person, and bring that back into my life.

I miss being creative, and doing something that's just for me. After I had "Popette" I was attending an evening art class once a week, which I enjoyed. Then I got pregnant with "Cherub" and haven't returned as my head hadn't been in a great place and I couldn't get into being creative.

I love having fun with the girls, but lately it has been a real struggle for me to get on top of the housework, it never seems to go away, which has resulted in less time to have fun with the girls. Even doing craft with "Popette" and blogging has become a bit of a chore, instead of something fun.

Writing for me was a creative release, an outlet for me to express my thoughts or experiences as a Mummy with other Mummies and readers. I want blogging to be something I enjoy and for it to flow easily, and be something that you enjoy to read.

So with this in mind I've decided to take a little break from the blog and go in search of what makes me happy. I am hoping not to be away for too long, and come back feeling refreshed with some stories of the girls, and fun craft activities.

What makes you happy?

8 comments:

  1. At the risk of sounding like Roxette, listen to your heart.
    Best of luck and hope we see you again after a brief but fulfilling hiatus!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I feel exactly as you do. I am searching, it seems like a never ending search.
    I get cranky, am short tempered and lost in a myriad of things such as the never ending housework, ill health and other life surprises.
    Do what you need to do. Take your time. Ensure you have plenty of love and support around you. Just do your best.
    I do hope your break is what you need to rejuvenate.
    Becc @ Take Charge Now

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hope the time off helps Julie, although I gotta say I feel like a cranky mole ALL THE TIME! But with lotsa kids maybe we are just normal? Emily

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hear you Julie! I hate being cranky too and I especially hate it when my kids mimic me being cranky! I hope you find what makes you tick. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have to do something for myself or I go a little crazy! It's yoga once a week that keeps me feeling balanced. I hope you can get back to that art class xx

    ReplyDelete

Hello! Thanks for popping by, I love hearing from my readers. Feel free to leave your comment here :)