15 November 2013

Grateful for being me

Saying no isn't something I'm always good at. There were times back when I was working, that I would take on so much work and became so snowed under that it was hard to get everything completed by its deadline. I managed it all, but I put a lot of pressure on myself, all because I didn't know how to say no to my boss or fellow colleagues.

I have never been very good at being assertive or telling somebody what I think, even if it was a decision I didn't agree with. I guess it was fear of me being wrong, or being laughed at or starting a confrontation with someone. I hate confrontations! I guess I should be better at speaking my mind, but I'm a big chicken!

Image source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/430656783088132514/
I worked with a woman once, who thought she was superior to everyone (mostly people younger than herself). I think she felt threatened by me, since I knew a little more than she did on certain subjects and had skills she didn't possess. This resulted in more than one confrontation with her. On one occasion I ended up in tears (the big ugly ones) right in front of our boss! Not my greatest moment. Thankfully I wasn't the only one that had issues with her.

From that moment I realised I needed to be more assertive.
For the past few weeks I've been having discussions with an agency about some potential paid work. At first it was exciting, but then I realised what they wanted was different to what I wanted, and in the end it didn't feel right to me so I didn't go ahead with the work.

I’m not a professional blogger. I blog for myself, and the little community that follows me here and here. Its taken some time, but I have managed to build a little blog that I am proud of. Its my little world, it stores my thoughts, my feelings, carries my voice, and is a place where I can dream. Over 3 years I have ever so slowly built a reputation for my blog and as a blogger. My blog means a lot to me.

So this week I am grateful for being me, while I am a big chicken when it comes to confrontations, I'm grateful to be able to make decisions, speak up, not give up on an idea or something that's worth fighting for.

What are you grateful for?

I am linking up with Octavia and Vicky for 52 weeks of grateful.

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