27 June 2014

Six facts {for the naive person} on becoming a new parent

I love catching up with my girlfriends. Its nice to get out of the house, and to have some time away from my little family and talk about other things then just kids. Last Saturday I caught up with two girlfriends in the city. It was a beautiful sunny winter's day, and Sydney Harbour was glistening. It was the perfect day for sitting outside in the sunshine and watching the boats on the water while we ate our lunch.


We chatted about what each other had been doing, talked about people we knew, about how much we were starting to dislike Facebook (although it is good for staying in touch with friends overseas) work (them), the girls (me) and holiday plans.

During one conversation, one friend talked about one of her "mum friends" remarking that "its not like she does anything all day". This comment upset me a little. It made me think "does she think the same thing about me?" I wonder what she thinks I do all day, continually check my Facebook newsfeed?

I can remember back to when my brothers had children, and how my husband and I weren't ready to have children, and we would say something (without thinking) just like my friend. How naive we both were!

I could give her a long list of things I do each and every day, but I let it go and didn't say anything. What was the point of starting an argument. I just hope that one day she gets to experience the joy of having children!

But for those people who don't know what its like to be a parent of a newborn, here's six facts you should know.

Fact #1: You will be tired - Having a baby is the most beautiful experience a couple can go through together. And the most exhausting! There will be times when you won't feel like calling or talking to someone after 7pm. Some nights all you will want to do is veg out on the lounge and watch the latest recording of a show you like to watch.

Fact #2: It can be hard - Having a baby turns your life upside down. It changes your life completely. Some days it can be hard. Imagine being home with a sick bubba who cries each time you try to put her down for a nap, or only wants you to rock her to sleep or has bad reflux and cries for hours. It is horrible hearing a baby cry for hours, especially in the early hours of the morning when you are tired and haven't had enough any sleep. If you don't have a spouse or partner to take over for you, or the support of close family and friends to help out, it can be even harder.

Fact #3: Things will be different for a while When you have a newborn in the house, you won't always have time to take a shower before lunchtime or read a book. There will be days when you finally get your little one down for a nap, and all you want to do is a) pass out on the lounge from exhaustion, b) take a shower or c) enjoy a hot cup of coffee. There will be days when you are lonely, and crave someone to talk to so you will check your Facebook newsfeed to see what your friends are up to.

Fact #4: Keeping up with your old social life - Catching up with friends for Friday night drinks will no longer be your top priority. Yes its nice to stay in touch with friends, but going out will become a luxury and something you will have to plan well in advance. Unless you have family or friends to look after your little one, you may find going out only happens once in a blue moon. Your new best friend will be the guy down at the DVD store who you see on a regular basis.

Fact #5: Baby talk - When you have a baby, all you talk about is the baby. You are so proud of your sweet little bubba, that you can't stop showing photos or talking about them. It gets to the point that your Facebook friends have blocked your status updates as they are getting tired of your sharenting. Try not to judge your new Mumma friends. They are in baby bliss (ie. think of a married couple still in the honeymoon period) and have probably forgotten (blame it on baby brain, yes, there is a thing. Google it.) that there are other topics to talk about.

Fact #6: ABC4Kids is your friend A good friend of mine once made a narky remark about how I let my television "babysit" my daughter. Of course this was before she had a baby. Now she has a 2 year old, who loves watching ABC4Kids. Some people don't understand what its like entertaining a child all day long. There will be moments when you want to take a shower, hang out a load of washing, make an important phone call or just want 10 minutes to yourself. While turning the television on and having it 'entertain' your child isn't the best thing to do, it certainly helps when you need to get things done.

Do you have a fact that you would add to this list? What would your advice to someone who has no idea what a parent does be?


  1. Love it! Yep ABC4kids is a very good friend. I'd add "chances are everything you said you wouldn't do when you're a parent, you'll end up doing or contemplating at least!" Yep I was that person who said no dummy and no kids apps on the ipad... What was I thinking? haha :) xx

    1. Hahaha, I was the no dummy and no junk food until they are at least 5! How easily that changes when you have kids! xx

  2. One of the very first things I learnt was 'never say never' because all of the things you swore you would never do when you had kids, you usually end up doing.

  3. I think its hard to realise just how much change there is when your dragging a baby out and about. the sheer organisation to get out of the house on little sleep and actually dressed meant I didn't go out at all for about 6 months. But that is what I needed to do. I give friends with new babies lots of leeway and let them make the calls.

    1. I think some people don't realise what a juggling act it can be when you have to organise not just yourself, but a little one, a bag with 'supplies' then if a feed is due you are delayed, or if you have to change a nappy just when you walk out the door. My girls aren't babies anymore, but some days we still take forever to get out the door. :)

  4. I think I would add, fact #6 Chances are your circle will change, friendships will strengthen and friendships will drift but those who are meant to be there will be :)

    1. Yep I agree with that so much. I have made some new friends since becoming a Mum and also lost quite a few friendships of people who I thought were good friends. :)

  5. I remember a young lady rolled her eyes at the sight of my son chucking his sausage roll out the door of Target one day, when I asked him to chuck it out(I meant the bin!). She would go on to have four kids(two of which were twins). I think she gets it now.
    No one really can understand what it's like until they have lived it.


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