07 October 2014

Getting help

After my Dad passed away (it will be 2 years this Christmas) I went through a depressive state. Losing my Dad was one of the toughest experiences I've ever had to deal with. During this time I struggled to be happy, I felt tired all the time, unmotivated, and snapped at the people I loved. 

I didn't have the energy to do things that often made me happy nor did I want to go out and socialise with friends. I wasn't looking after myself or cared what I thought of my appearance. I just wasn't myself.

Me and my Dad
As a result I lost some good friendships. I put it down to me being withdrawn and not wanting to socialise at the time. But I now think there were friends who couldn't cope with me being depressed, so found it easier to turn their backs and walk away rather then be there for me. Its times like these when you find out who your real friends are.

I can still remember one friend telling me if I continue to push people away (I didn't realise that I was at the time) then I will lose friends. I guess it was her way of saying, if you don't ask me for help I will just leave you to it. It took me a long time to say that I wasn't handling things, and to realise I was unhappy.

While she is still a friend today, she's distanced herself from me and I don't see her as much as I used to. Unfortunately we no longer call each other like we used to. 

It would have been nice to have had a friend be there for me and ask me “Are you OK?”, “Are you coping?”, “Is there anything I can do for you”. Sometimes all you need is a friendly face, and someone to chat to.

Luckily it didn't take me long to realise that something was terribly wrong with me. I opened up about my feelings with my Hubby, and spoke to my GP. I am okay now, but there are days I still miss Dad and think about him. 

October is mental health month. If you know someone who is going through a rough time take the time to check in with them and ask them "R U OK?". 

If you are experiencing a personal crisis and finding it hard to cope see your GP or give one of the support centre's like Lifeline (131114) a call. 

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  1. I remember getting a 'don't cut yourself off' from friends when I was depressed. I didn't mean to, but I just couldn't be around people. Although I really didn't understand it at the time. Depression is hard for everyone. I'm so sorry you lost some friends. Hopefully you've made more since then xxx

  2. Oh Julie- I am so sorry about your Dad and all you have been through... but I am very happy that you eventually spoke up and got the help you need. No one should suffer in silence. Big hugs huni xx

  3. So sorry for your loss, Julie. I'm glad your got the help and support that you needed. x

  4. Its not easy when you have depression, but I get it...I too suffer from it from time to time. And the last thing I feel like doing is going out and seeing friends.
    I guess that friends are supposed to be there no matter what, but sometimes they aren't
    Over the years I have learnt to be with family - they are so important and are what makes life easier when down.
    Hope you are Okay?


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