01 December 2015

Focus on the things that matter most

This year I gave myself the guiding word of "Focus". My intention was to focus on the things that mattered most and forget about everything else. I can easily get distracted (esp when I'm on social media) and lose my focus on what is important, and waste time doing little unimportant things, rather than putting all my energy and thoughts in an area (like my fitness levels!) that will make me happy, feel fit and better about myself.

While I haven't achieved everything I would have liked this year. I have spent quite a bit of time focusing on my art and hobbies, ensuring I enjoy those little moments with my girls, and focusing my energies on the good stuff like my family, and reducing my stress with things I cannot control.

This last one might sound easy, but for someone like me, an introverted stress-head I am finding it hard! I can worry like no one's business. I find it particularly hard not to stress about other people and what they may or may not have said about me, and change my train of thoughts.

A few months ago my husband's old boss lost his beloved wife to pancreatic cancer. We had known them both for over 20 years. They (K & E) were such sweet, lovable people who loved a laugh, good food, and catching up with their family and friends.



Of course my husband and I were devastated when we heard the news. We wished we had known, and had attended E's funeral. While Hubby caught up with his old boss once in a blue moon for drinks with other ex-colleagues, it had been a long while since he had heard or seen him.

I felt terrible that we hadn't known E had been fighting this awful cancer (she had throat cancer previously) or that she had passed away until another friend of my husband's told him.

Raising children these past 7 years changed our social calendar, and to that extent our friends. I guess we thought they would always be there, and find time in the new year to eventually have them over for lunch again.

Its when something like a death of a close friend or family member occurs you are reminded of what's important.

This year marks the 4th Christmas without my Dad. It still upsets me that he's not here with us, and to watch my Mum struggle on a daily basis without him, especially this time of year.

This year I am enjoying the festivities a little more cause I know my Dad wouldn't want me to be upset and he'd want me to enjoy Christmas with my family and be happy.

While we can focus too much of our energies on the negative, or toxic people, we need to harness our thoughts on the positive, and refocus on the good that's in our lives.

This year I am cherishing memories such as watching my girls get excited when they see Santa at the shop because I know this time won't last. Too soon they won't get excited about having a photo taken with Santa, or decorating the Christmas tree or leaving carrots out for the reindeer. All the same things I loved when I was little, and were excited about.

The moral of this post - focus on the things that matter most, and let go of everything that brings you down, or doesn't bring you purpose or happiness. Life is too short, so make sure you enjoy it while you can.

I am linking with Essentially Jess for IBOT.

12 comments:

  1. That's sad. I have had a few deaths recently and with each one I realise just how precious what I have is.

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    1. I have too Natalie. Thanks for popping by :)

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  2. Very wise words. I'm so sorry for your loss and wish you a very Merry Christmas xx Thanks for linking with #TeamIBOT

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  3. focus at this time of year is such a tough one if you've lost family members... good on you for remembering your why

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  4. I need to take the time to refocus every once in awhile too and just to look around me and see what is stressing me out, making me unhappy or bringing in negativity. This will be my 12th year without my mum at Christmas and it gets a little easier every year, especially with little kids around now. I know what you mean about enjoying the time that they believe in magic, it brings so much good to Christmas injecting the joy of Santa and reindeer and all things magical into our adult lives! I have some cool ideas for the kids on my blog if you ever want to pop over and check them out :)

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    1. Thanks Haidee, Being mindful and refocussing my attention will be something I will need to continue working on. I think you can get too caught up in all the hoopla that's going on around you and miss the big picture! :) Thanks I'll be sure to pop over and check your blog out! Merry Christmas! :)

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  5. Great post, Cancer is such a scourge . I've had in 2+ times in 3 yrs and lost friends too. One friend had terminal breast cancer and i'd chatted briefly on FB a week before. Then she was gone .

    Yes, life is too short, so make sure you enjoy it while you can....though I saw recently
    Life is the longest activity you'll ever engage in (then you die).

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    1. Thanks Trish, I like your quote. Cancer is a horrible disease and sadly doesn't discriminate. I'm sorry for your loss.

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  6. I'll have my first Christmas without Dad this year, and I'm feeling a little upset about it. More concerned for my step mother though. It will be so much harder for her.
    It really is important to appreciate people while we can isn't it?

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    1. I'm sorry that you won't have your Dad with you at Christmas Jess. Its very upsetting when you go through holidays, anniversarys & birthdays, and not having them here to enjoy it with you. It'll be our 4th Christmas without my Dad. This Sunday marks 3 years since he passed away. Sending you big hugs xo

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