01 March 2016

Living with fear

Years ago my husband enjoyed the experience of snorkelling with dolphins in the ocean. I was too terrified to get into the dark murky water. I couldn't swim or snorkel very well, so thoughts of jumping in the sea and possibly drowning scared the hell out of me. It upsets me that I missed out on such a wonderful opportunity, and kicked myself for not doing it because I let fear take over.


I look back at my teens, twenties, thirties (I'm feeling old now) and think about all the different things I said "No" to. I wonder if I should have thought about "it" a little more, rather than decline offers, opportunities, invitations, etc. Too often I said no to an opportunity, or been too afraid of the "unknown". As a somewhat anxious introvert, I know I need to get out of my comfort zone and control my thoughts & fear more, so I don't miss out on any more opportunities.

I wonder if I hadn't let fear take up so much of my thoughts over the years what I would have done differently.

Would I have gone and studied to be a graphic designer, instead of remembering what my Year 10 career counsellor had told me - there would be no future for graphic designers! {Sorry to tell you this if you are a graphic designer, bahaha!}

Would I have lived overseas for a couple of years or studied art in Paris like I had dreamt? 

Rather than listen to fear, should I have followed my heart and gone with what I wanted, rather than have been too afraid to try.

Would I have taken the risks and in the end been happier?

I am a scaredy cat when it comes to heights and deep water, but over the years I  have surprised myself when I did something that took me out of my comfort zone, e.g, like when I climbed up Marion's lookout. When you do something that scares you, you feel exhilarated, and believe you can do anything you set your mind to.

Fear has reared its ugly head on too many occasions for me. Its made me into a less confident reserved person, who worries and thinks too much, rather than just go with the flow.

I am sick of feeling fearful of the "what ifs", and need to start making decisions and choices that will make me happy, and worry less. If I make a mistake, I need to learn from it and move on.

Screw fear!


What would you do if you weren't afraid?

What risks would you be willing to take?

11 comments:

  1. Great post Julie!! I realised last week the 'what ifs' have been holding me back too. I am slowly making some changes. I hope you do study art in paris one day!! Xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww thanks Elisa :) Its so easy to get stuck in making safe choices isn't it. Studying in Paris would be a dream come true! xx

      Delete
  2. It really sucks when fear holds us back. I am the type of person who always makes the 'safe' and 'practical' choices but I find as I'm getting older I'm starting to push through the fear a bit more...I especially found that since becoming a mother, I don't want my son to be held back because of fear so I need to be a good rode model and sometimes put myself out there and do the things that scare me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sarah, I am the same. I am trying to be a good role model for my two girls, but its hard when they want to try and do something that I wouldn't normally do, like climb a tree or walk a balance beam. I will try and get them to avoid it or protect them, but then I realise I need to let them try and see if they like it for themselves. :)

      Delete
  3. I agree that fear can be disabling, but it can also be a great mechanism for deciding what's right for you! I have almost the opposite problem - I say 'yes' to too many things and end up entirely overwhelmed and burned out on a regular basis! I think sometimes the important thing is to compromise. For example, could you go to Paris for a month and do a short course? That way you wouldn't be giving up your entire life here, it would be a smaller risk but you would still achieve your goals in some way. #TeamIBOT.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Bec, I certainly know the feeling of taking on too much then feeling burnt out! Its tricky to find the right balance isn't it. I would love to do a course in Paris, maybe one day :)

      Delete
  4. I understood some of this. I have some areas where fear holds me back, and I wish I could get past them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jess, I hope you can get past them too. I am trying but its hard to turn off the negative voices in my head some days. :)

      Delete
  5. Feel the fear and do it anyway lovely xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Julie, I hear you loud and clear. You just described me. I am scared of everything outside my immediate comfort zone. Even going on holiday to somewhere I am unfamiliar with can fill me with anxiety! I'm working on it though, it's disappointing to look back and see what I could have missed.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, I get this, Julie. I think it makes us human - that feeling of adrenalin, heart palpitations, sweat dripping…
    But then there is that intense feeling of accomplishment when we overcome our fear. That's the feeling I love pursuing.

    ReplyDelete

Hello! Thanks for popping by, I love hearing from my readers. Feel free to leave your comment here :)