30 November 2011

Oh, your just a Mum...

"Oh, your just a Mum"...
How many times have you heard that expression? Not in a nice, positive way, but in that sarcastic, "Oh you don't work, you just play Barbie all day" tone from so-called friends and aquaintances. This post is me just having a bit of a rant.

One of my "Friends" on Facebook recently published this as her status update...

"hate when you get the "Oh your just a mum" or "do you work?" Uhhh yes, I am a mum!! That makes me an ALARM CLOCK, COOK, MAID, WAITRESS, TEACHER, NURSE, HANDYMAN, SECURITY OFFICER, PHOTOGRAPHER, COUNSELOR, CHAUFFER, EVENT PLANNER, PERSONAL ASSISTANT, ATM, GHOST BUSTER, BAIL BONDSMAN, SOLICITOR, MEDIATOR, CONFIDANTE and REFEREE. I don't get holidays, sick pay or RDOs. I work through the DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. And that's just my first job......JUST A MUM!!! I may not be anything to you, but I am everything to someone.
Re-post if you are a PROUD MUM ♥ and if you don't think it's a job, try it for a week as well as work 35 hours a week at a paid job!!!"
I had to "Like" the list, although I'm not a full-time working Mum like my friend, it does annoy me when people think that just because you're a Mum (a) you must not be busy, (b) they think you have lots of time to sit around and drink coffee while checking Facebook, or (c) have truckloads of time to email friends and arrange the latest catch-up. One of my pet peeves is when you suggest a catch-up to friends, and they leave to you to arrange, because 'they' (friends or relatives who don't have children) are too busy with their careers, and having a social life, etc etc.
Sometimes Hubby thinks that its only him that works -- well yes, he does work a full-time job and get paid, but I work too, as a full-time Mother, unfortunately I'm only paid what the Family Assistance Office sends me!
I love my Hubby to bits, but sometimes he really pisses me off when he thinks that he is the only person who is tired and hasn't had a decent nights sleep. He has been doing the night feeds for the past few weeks, which I am really grateful for. But some nights I stay up with him, and don't go to bed until he does. Last night he stayed up late because he was feeding "Cherub", when I went to bed it was 11.10pm. He mentioned that he didn't get to bed late because she was unsettled.
This morning at 5.00am, "Cherub" was moaning for her bottle. I could hardly keep my eyes open as I had only drifted back to sleep after being up twice with her at 3.00am and 3.20am...it takes me a while before I can get back to sleep.
I finally dragged myself out of bed at 5.30am to get her bottle ready and started feeding her at 5.45am on the lounge. Hubby then got up at 6am, so he could get ready for work. As he doesn't have to start at a specific time, I asked him if he could take over the feed so I could go back to bed before "Popette" woke up...which he then got cranky about. He took over feeding bub so I could get my 'beauty sleep' as he called it, but I argued that it was so I could function properly.
He thinks he's the only one that needs to function properly because he has to get up in the morning and go to work, but guess what, I need to function properly too, so I can look after our children and make sure they are fed, taken care of properly and not put in harms way if we go out.
Hubby constantly complains about the lawn needing to be mowed....I don't know what it is with men moaning about mowing their lawns! He thinks its more important to have the lawn looking good, then keeping the house clean & tidy if someone comes over!? He also thinks that washing bub's bottles and feeding her comes under "Housework", I think not. I sometimes wonder how well he would cope if the tables were turned, and I was the full-time worker and he was a stay-at-home Dad.

Below is a list of some of the duties I do as a Mum, there's probably more that I haven't thought of...
  • Breastfeed (back when I was breastfeeding, have since stopped which I regret, but that's another story)
  • Express breastmilk
  • Wash baby's bottles (which happens 2-3 times a day)
  • Sterilise baby's bottles
  • Change nappies on both "Cherub" and "Popette"; unless Toilet training "Popette".
  • Feed "Cherub", "Popette" and myself
  • Sometimes bath "Cherub" & "Popette" (Usually Hubby looks after bathing the girls so he can spend some time with them)
  • Dress "Popette" and "Cherub"
  • Shower and dress myself
  • Pack & unpack dishwasher
  • Put on a load of washing and hang out,
  • Fold up clean clothes etc and put away (including "Cherub's", "Popette's" and my clothes - I refuse to put away Hubby's clothes he can do his own)
  • Wash dishes that can't go in dishwasher and put away
  • Sweep floorboards
  • Mop floorboards
  • Vaccum rugs
  • Clean bathroom, kitchen, dining room etc
  • Pack up "Popette's" toys and put away
  • Entertain "Popette" and "Cherub"
  • Take "Popette" on playdates, to Music, appointments and the shops etc.
  • Put "Cherub" and "Popette" down for a sleep
  • Run in to "Cherub" whenever she cries and soothe/settle, re-wrap or stick dummy into mouth
  • Play or do activity (ie. painting, play doh, craft) with "Popette"
  • Tidy "Popette's" room
Now I can't take all the credit for doing everything on this list, hubby does do some of these items, but he doesn't do them all the time, everyday. I do.

Besides looking after the lawns, he does the clothes washing (I am a very lucky woman, I know), looks after the rubbish and recycling bins, does the dishes on occassions (mostly just leaves his dirty dishes on the sink waiting for me to place them in the dishwasher, which he occassionally loads & unloads) and does most of the cooking.

I guess you are now wondering what I am whinging about! I know I shouldn't complain, he is a good husband and does a lot for me, it just annoys me that he doesn't acknowledge the amount of stuff I do besides looking after "Cherub" & "Popette" each and every day. He somtimes complains that he is tired and had a long day at work, but I too am tired and have had a long day with two trying little people. One of them is totally reliant on me, and the other one is going through a trying time and still doesn't know how to express herself properly. Not to mention going through the terrible-two's and a clingy stage because of a new baby in the house.

Tonight he is off on a work Christmas party, he's not sure what time he'll be home. I guess I'll be having a long night with "Cherub" and "Popette". "Popette" had a meltdown this afternoon after having a long playdate with a friend, so not sure how she'll behave tonight with Daddy being out or whether I'll get her in bed at all. I'm hoping she'll go to bed quietly.

Thanks for letting me have this rant!

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